French Club Woes

Failure at life is fail.

I quite literally just broke down and sat in the fetal position on my bed with the covers over me. 

You see, internet, I have a problem. A few problems actually. My first, and arguably my most problematic problem (redundancy!), is that I have intense anxiety problems. 

Doing anything that is a new experience for me is potentially debilitating, disrupting my every day life with bouts of panic attacks and seizures. Well, I've never had a seizure, but I'm sure it could happen. Even some things that I've done a million times before make my stomach feel like I've just eaten some boiling acid and concentrated pepper spray with a dash of  nails (to taste). 

Like this, but with acid and nails, and less hair.

My second problem is that the French club meets every Monday and I have nobody to go with, which is causing me anxiety. Intense anxiety. Hence the aforementioned breakdown. 

Internet, I am stuck in a negative feedback loop. I have nobody to go to French club with, and the only way I'm going to French club is if I go with somebody, that somebody is most likely going to have to be French or speak French. The most likely place for me to find French speaking friends is, you guessed it, the French club. 

Is that not a natural reaction?

I'm sure that if I actually go to the French club that I'll make a plethora of amazing friends and my world will be all smiles, rainbows and kittens, I'll meet my future beau and I'll be happy for the rest of my life. (Reasonable right?) However my body will not let me go anywhere near the club at 6:00PM on Mondays. 

I'm going to go try and work up enough courage to go to the dining commons and eat dinner. 

kthxbai.